The August Bank Holiday Massacre
posted: August 29, 2012

Fresh from a tremendous but closely fought win over the Railway Taverners, Strollers handed out a comprehensive and largely merciless beating to old foes The Bricklayer’s Arms on Sunday. The Bricklayers have taken us to pieces in the past – older Strollers might remember a brutal 183 not out scored by genial Zimbabwean Fred Shiels at North London seven years ago – but on this occasion it was our turn to humble, dismantle and demoralise. God it felt good.

To be fair to The Bricklayers, who are as decent a bunch of cricketers as one could hope to meet, they fielded a weakened team due to the pressures of bank holiday scheduling. In contrast, the Strollers had a perhaps stronger than average line-up thanks to sterling recruitment performed by Gideon Reeve who drummed up three of his fellow players from Sinjun Grammarians and Tom who dragged along an old cricketing mate from his university days. All of these could play a bit, were considerably more youthful than many, many regular Strollers and gave us a lot more bite in the field.

But, the principal contributions of the day belonged to regular Strollers, and the highlight of these was, once again, another utterly destructive unbeaten century from Spencer. Another day, another hundred not out from Spencer. This allowed us to get to 236-4 off the 35 overs, a total which always looked to be out of the reach of the Bricklayers.

This score is actually better than it looks on paper as the match was played on a real park pitch at Barnes Common where the outfield grew thick and lush and the strip wasn’t much different. Well executed shots were prone to come to a grinding halt in the savannah grasslands and the most efficacious way to reach the boundary was to hit high. This didn’t trouble Spencer, who hit several monstrous sixes deep into the surrounding trees.

Tim won the toss, and, acutely deducing that we might be a wee bit stronger than oppo, decided to bat first. Spencer opened with Dan Roberts, one of our ringers, and the Strollers were treated to the unfamiliar luxury of a century opening partnership. Opening bowler Frazer Wright bowled tidily and found the edge once or twice while Lowe perhaps offered more challenge but also punctuated his figures with a succession of wides and no balls. Off one of those no balls Dan was fruitlessly caught and bowled – perhaps an augur that this would not be the Bricklayers’ day.

Spencer and Dan bounced along happily at six an over or so with minimal danger until the fifteenth over when, with the score 102, Dan was bowled for a very useful 33 by the effective Watson – effective, perhaps, because his action owed more to major league baseball than cricket. The skipper came in at number three, only half way through the innings. Normally he arrives at about the 25th over when the only option is to hit. Caught, it seemed, between the competing and unfamiliar demands of caution and aggression he too was bowled by Koufax-Watson (Sandy Koufax – great baseball pitcher – ed) for only seven – though this did include a sweetly timed on drive with minimal back lift of which Hashim Amla might have been proud.

After debutant Hamza departed unluckily run out for a diamond duck and Tom was bowled by Illingworth (who, as Tom observed, at least sounds like a cricketer), the Strollers had slumped a little to 150-4. But Jezz steadied the ship, played some lovely shots and provided valuable support to an increasingly belligerent Spencer. Going through the gears as effortlessly and destructively as the previous week, Spencer moved the score along from 151 at the end of the 28th over to 236 at the end of the 35th. The full gamut of shots were displayed and he went from 72 to 92 in four shots. The returning Wright was particularly harshly treated, his final two over going for 28 runs. That made a real mess of his figures.

The final score of 236-4 was boosted by no less than 45 extras, which included 17 wides and 16 byes. The Bricklayers could have done without this. Moreover, several chances were spilled in the field, particularly towards the end of the innings when it all got a bit much.

It always felt like 236 would be a tough target and, after an al fresco tea on the minimalist side, the Strollers took the field. Looking around, it was an unexpected pleasure for the bowlers to see ten fielders that all looked as if they could, you know, run around a bit and catch. So it was to prove.

Openers Simon and Tom also found that while the green wicket did not dart around as might have been expected, it gave considerable bounce and carry. Yummy. Ewer was trapped in front by Tom and then in the next over Fraser Wright, going for a cut/slash over the slips fell to a quite breathtaking catch by Gideon. It looked as if it would sail over his head, but Gideon managed to get a hand on it to tip it over the bar, Shilton- style. That would have been a pretty good effort by itself, but, in mid-air, arm outstretched, he managed to pluck the rebound out of the air for an absolute blinder -at any level of cricket. The bowler Boughey, often, perhaps, unlucky in the catches department (really? you’ve never mentioned that before - Ed), was speechless with gratitude and love, and would have happily borne any number of Gideon’s children on the spot (we’ve told you before, step away from the steroids, Si – Ed).

Two over laters, Ottley, who had already played and missed a good deal, was taken caught and bowled (another good catch) by Tom and two balls later, Lowe – who didn’t like Tom’s extra pace and bounce at all, was bowled off stump. At the end of four overs, Tom figures were 4-1-12-3.

Thereafter Simon bowled F Corby leg stump for a duck and with his first ball Gideon had Watson smartly picked up at short cover by the skipper – without, interestingly, the favoured rugby style method.

With six wickets down for only 30 or so, the game was only going one way and the skipper decided to be a little merciful and give everyone a bowl. Everyone was itching to do so as well, Spencer particularly willing.

Debutant Dan Aldridge had B Corby caught one-handed close to the wicket (ANOTHER really good catch – what was going on?) before Illingworth and Winpenny provided a little resistance and some fun at the bottom of the order. But it booted not: Jezz bowled Illingworth middle stump for a lively 22, Gideon brought off another diving catch to take Loche off Roberts, and finally tiring of the charade, Tim brought Simon back on to finish off the obdurate Winpenny. Bricklayers 67 all out. By this time, all 11 Strollers had bowled, Spencer having swapped the wicket-keeping pads with Tom after the 10th over..

While it had perhaps lacked the drama of the previous week’s great win, it was enormously satisfying to hand out a thorough beating of which Flashman would have been proud. But the Bricklayers, sportsmen that they are, invited us all to the eponymous Brickalyer’s Arms for beers and even bought us pizza. Really, greater love hath no men!

Simon Boughey
29.08.12

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