Betts Jnr saves Strollers blushes
posted: May 21, 2012

Cricket is meant to be a summer sport. We Strollers are like delicate, highly tuned electronic instruments, we need to observe stringent minimum and maximum operating temperatures. I would suggest 15 to 28 degrees C. But because we lost the last six weeks of cricket to rain our standards have become systematically lowered and we were prepared to “give it a go” in the ridiculous icy chill of some wind blasted bumf##k heath in the middle of Barnet.

Tim found out the Highgate Irregulars (who we bizarrely play quite regularly) wanted a time game, this was obviously a curve ball to the IPL-addled Sturm brain especially as we only had eight players present at the time. Tim won the toss and, noting that the Strollers had a strong bowling line-up, decided to bowl to a field topped up by slightly unhappy but sporting Irregulars.

With Boughey probably still in his jimjams at his sponsored beddy-bye-byes ‘Sleepover’ from the night before, Graeme opened the bowling. The pitch was as soft and sticky. There was only one length to bowl, very full or else the ball sat up and screamed “spank me, baby!” as Rob Davies found to his cost from the other end in a spell that otherwise showed he may have discovered promising outward drift. It was always going to be tough to get anywhere with medium pace and Graeme switched to an over of off spin which saw a previously pegged down Elwes play an ill advised swipe and was bowled.

This brought Miller to the middle like a man with a pocket full of chips swaggering into Vegas. To counter the slow, slightly overgrown outfield he started hitting wildly and was continually prepared to go aerial. Now awake and in whites the tardy Boughey wiped the sleep from his eyes and charged in. Simon trapped Miller with a straight one to the pad. Unbelievably, the “umpire” said that Miller had taken “too large a stride” to give it out. Since this was not 1930, since we are in the era of DRS and since the ball never got up beyond 8 inches all match we all found this decision bewildering.  It was also to be costly as Miller went on to torment all the Strollers’ bowling and rack up an undefeated 110. It was hard to think of it as a “class innings” as the Strollers fielders dropped him on at least five occasions, but Miller rode his luck and boshed some mighty blows and at their declaration Highgate had amassed 198 for 4. Special mention can be made of debutante Tom Foote who looked promising with some medium pace Malcolm Marshall style “skiddiness” and to Big Gav who once again provided entertainment with his flightpath threatening lobs, one of which saw young Daniel Betts take a confident catch that put many Strollers to shame. If only he had been there for the start of the game along with his “ever jolly” dad. Subsequent enquiries showed an ill programmed sat nav had sent the Bettses to some suburban housewife up the road. (That’s his story – Ed)

With only enough time for something like 30 overs of batting the Strollers had to decide whether a run chase was really on. With scant regard to thought the answer was “of course it is.” Gav and Spencer got off to a stuttering start before Spencer holed out to mid off. The Irregulars bowling was definitely namesake as A. Gray interspersed rolling ankle biters with long hops, but a short pitched “gift” then claimed Graeme’s wicket as he surreally mistimed and clipped a simple chance behind off the back of the bat. Gavin also fell to an unlikely low one from A.Gray and, apart from Tim who hit some nice drives, the Strollers collapse was well and truly underway. Angry at the Irregulars’ umpiring Graeme had vowed to be “forensic and tough” in decisions (as in “there’s no way those b#ggers will get anything”), but was forced by compelling physics to then give out both Richard and a returning Ben Scott lbw in the same over. Various Strollers came and went and the game looked over when final pair Rob Davies and Daniel Betts came together with nine overs still to go. But it was as though the Berlin Wall had been brought back – well a Berlin Wall built of giraffe parts – as Rob frustrated Highgate with his front foot, zero-arm movement defence and the pint-sized Daniel Betts happily strode down the wicket to knock and block like a veteran.

It’s difficult to say which team was more shocked by the resultant draw but everyone was more than keen not to discuss it after the match, but rather to return to the blessed warmth of their firesides. All apart from the Bettses who may well be in Aberdeen.

Graeme Holmes
21.05.12

<< scorecard